Six Easy Steps to Talk about Politics with Friends and Family
It has often been considered polite to avoid two subjects at family gatherings: religion and politics. Any mention of these subjects would inevitably stoke the ember of a ferocious argument would be unleashed upon the family like a raging fire. Yet, it does not need to be this way; there are simple steps we can all take to discuss politics in a civil manner with one another.
1. Change the Objective of the Conversation
We are often prone to see every disagreement as a personal attack against us; an attack we must repel. Arguments, disagreements are often seen as things that we must win at any cost; yet, winning arguments rarely does anything to bring people together, rather it usually drives us further apart. This is why winning an argument cannot be the goal under any circumstance, rather the goal of the argument must be to better understand one another. Understanding someone else’s thoughts and motivation can better bridge the gap and lead to positive discussions that can bring about change.
2. You are not always right
It is easy to entrench ourselves in our viewpoints when discussing politics with one another. We have been taught that to be wrong is to be weak, but I would argue that to admit that one is wrong, is an act of strength. Strength is to constantly challenge oneself, to accept that being wrong is a natural part of life. Despite the passion of our convictions, we simply will never be right about everything; it is simply not possible. If you go into any conversation assuming that you are always right you will never get anything out of the conversation; you will simply be locked in a bitter debate in which no progress is made. If you believe that other people may have valid information or beliefs to share with you, you will nearly always come out of the conversation having learned something.
3. Listening
The value of listening cannot be understated, it transcends politics and will serve you in nearly every aspect of life. There are so many things that can steal our attention away, whether it be a phone, television, games, and so many other things. Yet, to truly listen means to hear every word another person says and analyze it. Cling onto every word and understand what it is they are trying to convey. In doing so, you validate that what the other person has to say matters, that they in fact matter. It is paramount to listen to what someone else has to say not for the sake of arguing, but to understand them. Without listening to others, we will never make any progress whether it be in politics or in life.
4. Ask questions
Asking questions helps gain more understanding of the other persons’ viewpoint and helps relieve a little of the tension. Furthermore, questions allow us to perceive reasoning as to why an individual believes in certain political ideologies. These beliefs are usually derived from experience, family political affiliation and indoctrinations, schooling, and religious beliefs. Without asking questions, it will be difficult to gain an understanding of the underlying factors that influence the other person.
5. Avoid interrupting
This cannot be stated enough, do not interrupt someone while they are speaking. It is quite rude and signals to them that what you have to say is far more important than what they are saying. It causes people to feel as if they are not valued; as a result it makes it far more likely that they will lash out and therefore start an argument that is far less civil and certainly less beneficial.
6. Find common ground
It is exceedingly rare that two people have absolutely nothing in common. Even opposing viewpoints often have elements of common ground between the two of them. By working to find the common ground that is shared, the conversation naturally becomes more calm. By finding the common ground, the discussion feels less like a war of words and more a discussion about various topics that is worth having.
A house divided among itself cannot stand
The country can simply not continue to function in the present political climate. Until we decide as a collective whole to work together, the country will simply be dominated by the will of the party in power until the other party takes power and cancels everything the previous party did. The country simply must work together to craft legislation that works for all Americans. This change begins with each of us, by being polite to one another and listening to other ideas, we can discuss politics in a conducive manner that will bring about positive change.
